| 00110001 00110100. |
[09 Mar 2009|11:22pm] |
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Well, how about that. I lose my job and get an earthquake all in the same day.
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| 00110001 00110011. |
[13 Feb 2009|08:34pm] |
[ Let's pretend this was posted earlier in the day! ]
I know you're all completely inundated with holidays this weekend -- Friday the 13th, President's Weekend, Darwin Day, that other one -- but I hope you all haven't forgotten about my party this evening. Food! Drinks! Music -- guess who just bought a karaoke machine?
Besides, this will be making an appearance:
How can you resist that face? So, be there at 9! I promise that fun times will be had. :D
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| 00110001 00110010. |
[21 Jan 2009|09:48pm] |
I was doing some thinking earlier -- a dangerous past time, I know -- and I thought of the best day to have my party. February 13! Now, why is the day so awesome? Well, for one thing, it's Friday the 13th. Who doesn't love a party on the unluckiest day ever? Of course, the win doesn't stop there. It's also the day before Valentine's Day! I was thinking about having this party on Valentine's Day, but I realized that some people actually celebrate that holiday. Who knew? Anyway, everyone's invited. Drinks, booze, food, music, and the company of your truly. That's the long way of saying fun times will be had.
By the way, the theme for this party is Fuck Valentine's Day. I would go into how much I hate it, but I'll save that for the half-inebriated toast I make at the party. ;D
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| 00110001 00110001. |
[14 Jan 2009|03:19pm] |
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I wonder if my apartment is too small for a party.
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| 00110001 00110000. |
[10 Jan 2009|12:27am] |
( Private. )
Let's not bring up
About that whole bullet thing
The girl who exclusively dates guys named Peter thinks I have bad taste in men. That's rich. I'm loling, really.
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| 00111001. |
[08 Jan 2009|11:14am] |
I was going to say that stranger things have happened, but I believe this takes the cake.
Can we get an X-Men roll call? Piotr? This is Kitty, by the way. I'm just as powerless as everyone else, although Josephine has never been able to phase.
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| 00111000. |
[30 Dec 2008|12:43pm] |
It's time for more useless trivia! Aren't you all excited? :D
In Maryville, Missouri, women are prohibited from wearing corsets because "The privilege of admiring the curvaceous, unencumbered body of a young woman should not be denied to the normal, red-blooded American male." O rly?
An ordinance in Newcastle, Wyoming, specifically bans couples from having sex while standing inside a store's walk-in meat freezer! I think I heard about that happening in a few fast food joints.
A Tremonton, Utah law states that no woman is allowed to have sex with a man while riding in an ambulance. In addition to normal charges, the woman's name will be published in the local newspaper. The man does not receive any punishment. Sexism! :P
In the state of Washington there is a law against having sex with a virgin under any circumstances. (Including the wedding night). Sucks to be them.
Meanwhile, here is a tip for you all: if you are going to take your computer in for repairs, it's a good idea to wipe all the porn from your computer. I really didn't need to know about Steve The Married 40 Year Old's bear fetish.
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| 00110111. |
[27 Dec 2008|02:21am] |
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( Eddie. )
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| 00110110. |
[25 Dec 2008|02:03am] |
( Private to Danny. )
Eddie, bb, we need to talk. You shoryukened me. :|
edit: Oh, right. Happy holidays! Hope you all enjoyed my presents. ;D
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| 00110011. |
[04 Dec 2008|03:31pm] |
Every year, kids in North America spend close to half a billion dollars on chewing gum.
American's eat about 18 billion hot dogs a year.
The oldest piece of chewing gum is 9000 years old.
Apples are more effective at keeping people awake in the morning than caffeine.
Every time you lick a stamp you gain 1/10 of a calorie.
DISCUSS.
I miss the beach. D:
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| 00110010. |
[29 Nov 2008|11:22pm] |
In Hong Kong, adulterous husbands get more than a steep monthly alimony payment – a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her husband if he cheats on her – but she may only do so with her bare hands.
The maximum speed at which erotic sensations travel from skin to brain has been clocked at 156 miles per hour.
Men say the average erect penis is 10″. Women say it’s 4″. <-- LOL WAT.
Male bats have the highest rate of homosexuality of any mammal. <-- sjfefe HAHAHAHA
Given today’s average frequency of sexual intercourse, it would take the typical American couple more than four years to try every one of the 529 positions described in the Kama Sutra.
DISCUSS.
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| 00110001. |
[28 Nov 2008|12:53pm] |
The St. James Family Thanksgiving Dinner was -- dare I say it? -- normal this year. What a surprise! I was so looking forward to a repeat of the following incidents:
- Exploding turkey ('07).
- Senior citizen brawl ('06). <-- MY PERSONAL FAVORITE
- Drunk preteens watching porn and eventual parental freakout that followed ('05).
- My aunt's affair with my uncle's brother coming out into the open ('04).
- My cousin coming out at the dinner table ('03).
I didn't think that anything could beat the Drunk Preteen incident, but seeing two old people duke it out will always take the cake. And the Exploding Turkey Incident was a little less funny, a little more gross. UNFORTUNATELY, there was none of that this year. I'm going to have to skip a year in the Thanksgiving scrap book, but it's no biggie.
Or I could just fill it in with the phrase "WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WITH YOUR LIFE" over and over again. I swear, I must have been asked that one question twenty times. And although I gave a different answer to each person (circus clown, rodeo star, etc), I wish I could tell them that I just want to sit around, twiddle my thumbs, and be a reincarnated hero. Alas. 8|
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